


Blind Dates and Motorcycles

by HalfAnachronism



Series: Percilot [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4294104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfAnachronism/pseuds/HalfAnachronism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin convinces Percival to go on a blind date. Harry convinces Lancelot to do the same thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind Dates and Motorcycles

**Author's Note:**

> Was prompted by borsival-gives-me-life! Sorry this request strayed from the prompt a bit, I tried :)
> 
> Also, this was translated into Vietnamese by Hanarry, and you can read that here: https://snarahyuk.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/percilot-oneshot-trans-blind-dates-and-motocylcle/

“Merlin, this has got to be the worst idea you’ve ever come up with. And you’ve come up with some fucked up ideas.”

Percy was sitting in a booth at a fancy restaurant, Merlin standing nearby.

Merlin smirked at his friend. “I’m personally offended by that. Now, look pretty, your date will be here in approximately seven minutes.”

Percy groaned. He didn’t understand how he got talked into a date with some random person, but here he was, and soon enough Merlin would disappear and said random person would appear and the blind date would begin. Percy had insisted to Merlin that he wasn’t interested in dating anyone, but Merlin had refused to listen, promising that he had found Percy’s perfect match.

“So, who is this person?”

“I can’t tell you, that’s the point of a blind date.”

“Well, I’m about to meet the person anyway, so who is it?”

“How do you know you even know this person?”

“Because I have no time for relationships considering I’m a Kingsman, so I assume this person has a similar schedule, which implies that this person is also a Kingsman.”

“You’re smarter than I give you credit for,” Merlin looked at his phone, “Ah. I’ve just been made aware that this person is now entering the restaurant. I’ll see you later.”

Before Percy could respond, Merlin was gone, and someone else entered that area of the restaurant, looking a bit lost.

 _Shit._ It was James, the bane of Percy’s existence. There was no doubt in Percy’s mind that this was this was the blind date.

James spotted Percy and walked over to him. “Hey,” he teased. “You wouldn’t happen to be here for a blind date, would you?”

Maybe if he pretended that he wasn’t James’s date, James would leave him alone. “I would, actually,” Percy responded coldly. “And this person will be showing up any minute now.”

James sat down across from Percy. “Unfortunately, I think _I’m_ your date. I assume Merlin put you up to this?”

“How’d you know?”

“I saw him walking out. And it was Harry who convinced me to come on this date, so I connected the dots.”

“Well, I suppose this just proves that we work with a bunch of idiots. I guess I’ll be leaving, then.”

Percy rose out of his seat, James rising as well. “Or we could sit and plan our revenge on those two?”

Percy couldn’t deny that that sounded amazing. “Fine.”

Both men sat down again.

“You know, I never thought Harry would do something like this.” Percy began.

“Neither did I, that’s why I trusted him.” James replied. “What about Merlin? Does he usually pull this kind of stunt?”

“No, but he’s a bit of a trickster and a gossip so I wouldn’t put it too far below him.”

James laughed. “That’s true. So, what kind of prank do you want to play on them?”

“My preferred kind of prank is something that will just annoy them. Like moving all the furniture in their home five inches to the left or something.”

“You’re not thinking big enough. We’ve got to fuck these two up.”

Percy shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I’m a huge prankster. What do you think we should do?”

James stared off into the distance for a moment, obviously pondering all the possible ways they could get back at Harry and Merlin for daring to imply that they should date. After at least a minute of awkward silence, he exclaimed, “I’ve got it!”

“Okay, what’s your genius idea?”

“Let’s elope.”

_“What?”_

“Not for real. I assume they’re both at Harry’s house right now, having a toast over their success, so let’s get on my motorcycle and drive by and yell to them that we hit it off so well that we’re running off to get married.”

“That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“What’s worse, the blind date idea or this?”

“This, by far.”

“Great, then let’s do it!”

James jumped out of his seat and galloped to the front of the restaurant before Percy could protest, and Percy simply just followed. He finally caught up with James, who was already sitting on his motorcycle and ready to go.

“Where’re the helmets?”

“No helmets. Just hold on tight and hope for the best.”

Percy reluctantly climbed onto the back of the motorcycle and wrapped his arms around James’s waist. Percy was startled when the bike came roaring to life, and became increasingly scared as the two agents rolled out into the night.

Percy ended up burying his face into James’s shoulder as the motorcycle went faster and faster on the empty streets. He even started feeling queasy, and was begging himself to not puke into James’s hair. Not that he cared about James or anything. It simply wasn’t polite to vomit onto the back of someone’s neck, as he felt like he was about to do.

Percy’s grip on James grew tighter, and he was sure he was choking the man, but James didn’t seem to mind. He just buried his face farther into James’s shoulder and pretended that he was at home watching TV instead of going way over the speed limit on a motorcycle, all the while without a helmet.

“Percy,” came James’s voice reassuringly, “Percy, you can open your eyes now.”

“Not happening.” Percy said, his face still buried deep in James’s back.

“Percy, we’ve stopped. We’re right in front of Harry’s house..”

“Am I dead?”

James laughed. “Are you implying that you’re in heaven?”

That was when Percy looked up at James, who was peering over his own shoulder to see him. “No, because you’re here, and that means we’re in hell.”

James grinned at him. “I knew you’d say that. So, shall we knock on the door?”

Percy straightened himself up, both of them still sitting on the motorcycle. James had turned around to face Percy, his hand on the top of Percy’s arm as if to help him balance. It wasn’t a firm hand holding him in place, however; it was a gentle touch, the touch of a friend.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Percy shrugged.

“Do you need a moment?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You seemed a bit scared on the way here.” James removed his hand and was now back to his regular teasing.

“I was _not_ scared,” Percy insisted, “I just haven’t ridden on a motorcycle in a while.”

James laughed. “Don’t be ashamed, Percy, motorcycles aren’t exactly easy to get used to. And besides, you’re adorable when you’re all flustered.”

Percy almost gasped. “Shut _up_ , James. First of all, I was not _flustered_ , and second of all, I’m not-”

James shut Percy up by suddenly pressing their mouths together. The same hand that was on Percy’s shoulder just moments ago was now creeping up to Percy’s neck, the thumb tracing Percy’s jawline as Percy kissed James back.

When James finally pulled away, he let his face linger just inches away from Percy’s just long enough for him to say, “If you weren’t flustered then, you are now.”

Percy closed the small gap in between them, kissing James lightly. James kissed back more passionately, both of them opening their mouths into the kiss.

They were interrupted by a noise coming from Harry’s house. They broke the kiss and looked to the door, where Harry and Merlin were standing, Harry’s arm wrapped around Merlin’s waist.

“So I assume the date went well?” Harry called.

James laughed and called back playfully, “Fuck you!”

Merlin responded, “Go home, you two.”

James looked toward Percy as Harry and Merlin went back inside. “So....” he said, biting his lip, “my place or yours?”

“Whichever is closest. I can’t stand another bloody minute on this motorcycle.”

James kissed Percy gently and countered, “My place it is!” He turned around and started the motorcycle, and the two agents were on their way home.


End file.
